YOU NEVER LOVED ME

YOU NEVER LOVED ME

So I really think that you never loved me and that you never wanted me. I guess I was right. As Im 40 now and not heard a word from you. Even if you turned up on my doorstep I think I would tell you to leave. For the hurt you caused me Is always going to be there. And no matter what you say The damage is done And cant be undone. You should never have had me. Or you should have learnt to be a Proper Father. Go To Hell.

The last time I saw you was when i was 28 just before I got married. After all the hurt you caused me I still wanted u to be at my wedding. But you told me no. You said you never wanted to speak to me again. The weird thing was.. I was finally thin by then Almost anorexic. But you didnt say a word about my weight loss and that hurt more than u saying you didnt want me in your life anymore.

But the worst part was you met a woman when u split up with my mum. And she was jealous of me so she made you choose. Between her and me. And you chose her. How could you do that? Chose someone else over your own flesh and blood? You wont be forgiven for that.

Why did you do that to me so young for? Why didnt you let me grow up a bit first and lose my baby fat? Instead all u did was send me into depression and make me start cutting. You put me on every diet imaginable. By the time I was 13 I had tried them all.

You wanted a boy I was a girl You wanted me to be athletic but I had a club foot til i was 14. You wanted me to be academic but i didnt excel to your expectations. When I was 10 you took photos of me Back and front To show me how fat and disgusting I was.

But what u never realised was that by this time I had started starving and bingeing so none of them worked You took me to America when I was 15 and I spent a month with you guarding my weight. I thought it was a holiday to visit my grampa..but you made it into a diet and exercise camp. Up at 6m..running along the beach. No junk..only fruit and veg and meat. I felt like I was at military school instead of visting my grampa.

You should never have had me. Or you should have learnt to be a Proper Father. Go To Hell. copyright gothgirl 2008

saying you didnt want me in your life anymore.