TOO LATE

Too Late

As she waited for them to take effect she wandered into her fathers room. In there he only had his bed, a wardrobe and some drawers.She opened the top drawer and saw some underpants and then she noticed some letters that had been covered by them. She picked up one of the letters and was shocked to see it was addressed to her. Her head spun slightly as the pills began to take effect. All the letters were from the same person as the writing was the same.She turned one over and saw they were from her mother.

After 12 years of abuse that had made her slice up her arms and legs to dull the pain she felt inside,it was time to go. She was seen as a freak by others and had no friends to confide in. Scarred, timid,thin and pale. She always looked tired and worried. She had her concoction of pills on her bedside table along with a glass of vodka. Lexitan, rohypnol and valium should do the job nicely. She sat on her bed and grabbed the pills and downed them without a second thought. Finally she could leave this horrible world.

She swayed and her eyes blurred. She pulled a letter out of the envelope trying to read it but nothing was registering. She willed herself to wake up more. She saw some words. 'He made me leave'...'I looked for you for years'...'I miss you so much'..I'm scared to come and get you' 'I love you'..and a phone number. She screamed NO!..but it came out as a whisper as she fell to the ground, the letters slipping from her cold hands.Her mother wanted her. She had a reason to live now. But it was too late. Her last thought before she lost consciousness forever was... Somebody Loves Me. copyright Gothgirl 2008

She looked around her bedroom and felt a pang of sadness, but only for a moment. Her bed was made and she carefully put the envelope on top of her pillow. She turned on the light as by the time he got home it would be dark and he may not notice it. She was 16.She lived with her father and she hated him.He would get drunk and rape her at least once a month.He had told her that if she said a word then her life would not be worth living.Now he would get his wish. Her mother had left them when she was 4. Oh how she wished she had herthere now to hold and to hug..but she obviously didnt care.