My Story

My Story

But it has taken age and experience and learning to accomplish this. So anyone who thinks they wont make it...you will. Have patience and have faith. For I really thought I would be dead and gone a long time ago..but im still hre. And yes some days I still feel down but that is a part of life Im afraid. We all cant be happy all of the time or we would never apreciate it would we? copyright gothgirl 2008

Now I do not care that I do not have many friends. Now I do not care about my father as I know the things he blamed me for were his own inadaquesies and faults..not mine I have learned to ignore the nasty people who love putting me down. I have learned that cutting really gets you nowhere in the end..except a heap of reminders in the scars you have to see everyday for the rest of your life.

The list could go on forever. But I survived! When we are young we think we have to have alot of friends and to fit in and be popular. But it just isnt true. And most of you will realise once you have left school that the people you thought mattered the most, matter the least. And things you once thought were important are not.

Yes I am one who wished she was dead a million times and would cry night after night asking why the hell I had ever been born. And wishing I hadnt. Yes I am one who loved a man so much that I bore his child wothout telling him I was going to as he was going to leave me as I was too fat for him. All I wanted was a part of him I could love forever. Luckily I did as well..for he died:( Yes I am one who tried to drink herself to death and jump infront of cars wanting to die.

Yes I am one who cut up her arms over many years to ease my pain and people thought I was crazy and looked at me like I was more of a leper then I already felt. Yes I am one who went to get the praise of my father when I finally lost weight and he said Nothing. Yes I am one who asked her father to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day and he decided to disown me instead.

Yes I am one whose father did not want her to be born. Yes I am one who was fat and hated myself. Yes I am one who was the reject at school and never fitted in and no one liked me. Yes I was one who turned goth cos the dark side of life was more me than being something i was not.